


Sevda

by cndyprfumegirl



Series: You Are My Home [8]
Category: Demet Ozdemir, Dogdugun Ev Kaderindir, Ibrahim Celikkol, Turkish Dizi - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:46:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23241958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cndyprfumegirl/pseuds/cndyprfumegirl
Relationships: Zeynep Goksu/Mehdi Karaca
Series: You Are My Home [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1670797
Kudos: 3





	Sevda

Episode 11 spec fic. Çok teşekkür ederim to @HamletWingman on Twitter for translation of Zeynep's letter. ;)

***

My Darling,

This may be my first and last letter to you. No one enters the life of another by coincidence; this I learned as I experienced it. Thank you so much for opening the doors of my heart. You called our relationship sevda, and I took it and accepted it, but unfortunately life always gets in the way of our love. My only consolation is that one day when we look into each other's eyes, our never ending love will be there. I know that I am leaving you not to another woman, but to your child who is a new hope. I pity neither of us anymore. This is what life has given us; we have to consent to it.

My Mehdi, I love you.

***

Mehdi read the letter for the hundredth time. He still couldn't believe it; Zeynep was gone. She left him. She'd admitted her feelings for him and they'd spent a beautiful couple of days together before she felt he was ready to hear about Benal and the baby.

The baby.

God, he was going to be a father and he couldn't be happy about it. Of course he would love his child--the child was innocent in all of this. But he couldn't help but curse himself for getting involved with Benal in the first place. Why hadn't he been more careful? Why had he allowed things to go so far?

He wanted a child, but he wanted Zeynep to be his child's mother. He wanted a little girl with big brown eyes, glossy dark hair, a sharp mind, and a smile like sunshine, just like her mother's.

He'd finally found the princess of his dreams, the woman he'd been looking for all his life, and his choices he'd made in the past wouldn't let him be with her.

And he couldn't blame Zeynep for leaving--she thought she was doing the right thing. She was sacrificing herself and what she wanted for the good of the child, because that's how much she loved Mehdi...and because that's how good she was.

He pounded his fist on the surface of Zeynep's desk and fresh tears filled his eyes. "I have to find her. I can't let her go. I can't. I have to get her back."

He stood up and ran downstairs, stopping by the door to put on his shoes. His mother and sisters were sitting at the table. "Mehdi, where are you going? What's wrong?" Mujgan asked.

"I'm going to bring my wife home," he said, and he turned and left, leaving his family looking at each other in surprise.

He went to Sultan Bakkal first. He thought Sultan or Emine would know where Zeynep had gone. When he walked in, Emine was alone. She looked upset, and normally he would have asked what was wrong, but he had other priorities. She looked up at him, and her face became even sadder.

"Emine, where is Zeynep? Please, if you know, please tell me." Mehdi begged.

She shook her head sadly. "Mehdi, I can't. I promised her."

He approached the counter and leaned toward her. "Please, Emine. Please. I need to talk to her. I know she thinks she's doing the right thing, but I also know she doesn't really want to leave me. I know she wants to stay with me and she thinks she has to sacrifice our relationship. I can't be without her...not when I just found her. I need her. Please."

His face looked so desperate, Emine couldn't say no to him. Also, she thought he was right. Zeynep had told her she was in love with him, but she gave him up because she thought she didn't deserve to be loved like Mehdi loved her. But she did, and Emine wanted Mehdi to go to Zeynep and convince her that she deserves his love.

"She's at Nermin's house on the river. She went there to be alone; her family is still at the country house."

Mehdi was so grateful, he grabbed Emine's face and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Emine. Thank you so much."

"Get her back, Mehdi. She needs you, too."

He nodded. "I will."

***

The doorbell rang, startling Zeynep. No one knew she was here except Emine and her mother, Nermin. She hadn't even told Sakine. This house was usually empty during the spring and summer months, as her parents liked to stay in the country during that time.

She was already in her pajamas, so she hastily threw her robe on and went downstairs to see who was at the door.

She opened the door to find Mehdi standing there. He looked anxious, but he sighed with relief when he saw her face.

"Mehdi?" Zeynep said, completely surprised to see him there. Butterflies swarmed her stomach at the sight of him.

"Zeynep, can we talk?" he asked, his voice raspy with emotion.

She'd come here to be alone, but she couldn't deny him. She loved him, and she hadn't left because of anything he'd done. If she was honest with herself, she had to admit that she missed him already. She stepped aside to allow him to enter. "Come in," she said.

He ducked his head in thanks and walked past her into the house. The living room was dimly lit and very quiet.

"How did you find me?" she asked. She smiled then, because she knew. "Emine, right?"

"Yes, but I had to convince her. She didn't tell me right away."

"Mehdi, this will make things harder for both of us. That's why I told you why I was leaving in the letter." She implored him with her eyes to understand her. She let her eyes wander his face--the face that had become beloved to her in such a short time. His eyes were so intense, so warm; she could feel his love for her radiating from them--there was no way he could hide his feelings from her, even if he wanted to. He was growing his beard, giving balance to his mustache. His chiseled features were so manly, and his rugged handsomeness made her heart flip in her chest.

He noticed her looking at him, noticed how her eyes had gone soft as she took him in. He stepped in closer to her, so they were toe to toe. He reached up and cupped her face, his thumb tracing her cheekbone. He hugged her to him and rubbed his cheek against hers. He spoke into her ear, "I know what your letter said, Zeynep. It said you love me; in the letter, you said our love is never-ending."

Zeynep's heart raced; his nearness, his touch, his words made her body react in a way she'd never experienced before. She pulled back to look up at him and tried her best to maintain eye contact. "The letter said we have to give in to our fate, Mehdi. You need to focus on your child now. I'm not important."

His other hand came up and he held her face firmly in his hands. "You...you are the most important, Zeynep! There is no one more important to me. I will figure this out--we will figure it out together if you give me a chance to show you that we can work--we can be a family, you, me, and Kibrit. I don't expect you to take on my child--I would never ask you to do that. But we can make it work, I know we can. Just please don't leave me.

"I know you're used to people leaving you; you're used to giving up what you want and need to make other people happy. I won't let you do it this time, Zeynep, do you understand?"

Tears streamed down Zeynep's face. Mehdi wiped them away and pressed his lips to her forehead. Up until now, a kiss on her forehead or her cheek was as far as he'd allow himself to go, but he needed more, and he wanted to give her more; he wanted to show her what it was like to be loved--completely and unconditionally. He kissed her temple, her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, and her hands settled on his sides, gripping his shirt under his ever-present leather jacket. Slowly, his lips moved over her face, covering her with warm, soft kisses. He kissed her chin, and then the corner of her mouth. Her breath caught and she released it with a sigh.

"I love you, Zeynep. I love you so much." He spoke the words as his lips met hers for the first time. Her hands wrapped around his wrists. They gently explored each other's lips, and as their kiss deepened, her hands moved up his arms and underneath his jacket to push it off his shoulders and down his arms. It fell onto the sofa behind him, and she wrapped her arms around his neck to get closer to him. His arms came around her and he held her close. He felt her tongue tentatively run along his upper lip and his lips parted, letting her in.

She timidly stroked his tongue with hers, getting her first taste of him. She moaned quietly as his hands moved over her body with increasing boldness. He was always careful with her, always respectful, but now he touched her like a lover and she craved more. "Mehdi," she breathed against his lips. She left his mouth to kiss along his jaw and down to his neck. She opened her mouth and touched her tongue to his skin; he was slightly salty and she couldn't get enough of his flavor. He groaned and buried his hands in her soft hair and she placed wet open-mouthed kisses along the strong cord of muscle in his neck. Something came over her and she had the most powerful urge to consume him; she bit him, sinking her teeth into his neck and sucking on him. She shocked herself with how much she wanted him.

If she was shocked, it was nothing compared to Mehdi's reaction. He felt like suddenly all the blood in his body had rushed to his groin. "Ah! Zeynep, you don't know what you do to me," he said in his gruff voice. His hands smoothed down her hair to her lower back and he pulled her tightly against him. She felt his hardness against her stomach and her hands moved from his neck to his face, her thumb skimming across his lower lip. She looked up at him with her innocent wide eyes, and then she gave him a crooked coy smile and he swooped down and took her mouth again. He devoured her; he sucked on her tongue, her lips. His teeth scraped over the perfect bow of her upper lip, and he followed with a kiss to soothe the sting.

He looked down at her and ran the bridge of his nose over hers. She nuzzled him back and looped her arms around his neck. His hands moved lovingly over her back as he gazed at her. How many times had he looked at her face and longed to kiss her? God, she was so beautiful. And her heart was even more beautiful than her face. He couldn't lose her. She had taken possession of his heart, and it didn't belong to him anymore. His heart was hers; more accurately, his heart was her--She was his heart, living outside of his body, and if she went away, he didn't know how he'd go on living.

"Mehdi, I love you," she said, reaching up to kiss his lips. "You make me feel loved, and so safe. But I'm so afraid at the same time."

He kissed her cheek and stroked her hair. "Why, my love? Why are you afraid?"

She brought one hand to his face and traced his eyebrows with her index finger. She smiled at him and shook her head. "Because I love you so much I don't know how I'll live if I lose you, Mehdi." A little sob escaped her before she could swallow it. "If I leave now, I can imagine that one day when our lives are less complicated we can meet again and be happy together. But how can we survive everything that we're living now? How is it possible?" Her hand pushed his hair back off of his forehead. "I'm afraid we won't be able to endure it all and our love will be buried underneath the weight of the difficulties that come looking for us." She pulled his face down to hers and kissed him, her need for him desperate. He kissed her back, trying to reassure her. She suddenly broke the kiss and leaned her forehead against his, her eyes closed. "I don't want you to ever resent me, Mehdi. I don't want you to wish I weren't in your life, I don't want to be someone who makes things harder for you. Do you understand me?"

"Zeynep, that could never happen," he said, and he leaned down to pick her up, just like he had on their wedding night, and on the night when he told her about his past with Benal...when he carried her to bed while she slept. But this time, she was wide awake, and she wanted nothing more than for him to keep touching her.

He carried her up the stairs to her bedroom. He set her on her feet next to the bed, and he kissed her again. Now that it was clear what was happening between them, Zeynep was a little nervous, but she was also so excited. She couldn't wait to see him, to feel his skin against hers, to give herself to him.

She pulled up on his sweater and he helped her take it off. She put her hands on his shoulders and ran them down his chest and stomach, her eyes following the path her hands took. His skin was smooth and his body was pure muscle; he was beautiful. She never expected this to be what was hiding underneath his sweaters. Her fingers traced the muscles in his abdomen and she looked up at him and smiled. "I feel like I've unwrapped a present, Mehdi Usta."

He ducked his head shyly and smiled. "Eyvallah. I hope it's a present you like, Zeynep Hanım."

"Yes," she nodded. She leaned forward and kissed her way across his collarbone to his shoulder. Her hands came up to his shoulders again and she glided her hands down his muscular arms to lace her fingers through his. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed the underside of his jaw, his ear, just below his bottom lip. He chased her lips and caught them; he kissed her with so much wanting, she felt a foreign hollowness low in her belly and a pulsing between her legs.

She let go of his hands and he pushed her robe off her shoulders and it fell to the floor. He didn't stop kissing her as he unbuttoned her pajama top. She shrugged it off and it joined her robe on the floor at their feet. He stopped kissing her to look down at her and she thought she'd catch fire from the heat in his eyes. She fought the urge to cover herself with her hands; instead, she wrapped her arms around him, her fingers spread out against his back. He held her close to his body, his hands spanning the width of her back.

"This is where we belong, Zeynep. Can you feel it?" he whispered in her ear. He kissed her ear and her neck.

She smiled and nodded and closed her arms tighter around him. She'd never felt so at peace.

She had also never been so aroused. His hands came around to cover her breasts, and his touch was so warm. He moved his hands so he was cupping her and he ran his thumbs over her nipples. They hardened in response and she closed her eyes, moaning low in her throat. She covered his hands with hers and looked down at his fingers gently kneading her. He lowered his head and took her right nipple in his mouth, suckling it. Her hands held his head against her and his tongue flicked back and forth over her. She felt a rush of wetness between her legs. "Mehdi, I need you."

"I'm yours, Zeynep," he said, stroking her hair and kissing her lips.

He pushed her pants and panties down her legs and picked her up and laid her on the bed. He took off his shoes and pants, and she watched him carefully as he undressed. She looked at him with fascination--she'd never seen a naked man before; he was impressive in every way. She wondered what it would feel like to have him inside her.

He stood over her for a moment, just looking at her. "You're so incredibly beautiful." She held her arms open for him, and he crawled over her, settling in the welcoming cradle of her hips. His hard length was pressed against her inner thigh, and he held his weight off her on his elbows. He leaned down and kissed her, his hand cupping her jaw. His hand wandered down her body...down her neck, over her breast, her ribcage, down her flat stomach, until he reached the heat at the apex of her thighs. His fingers stroked her, sliding through her wetness and skimming over the sensitive bundle of nerves at the top of her sex.

Her hands gripped his biceps, her fingers digging into his muscles. "Mehdi..." she said into his mouth in between kisses. She didn't know what to say; she was at a loss for words. His touch felt like nothing she'd ever experienced before. His fingers moved in circles, slowly at first, and then faster. Her breathing became shallow and fast and she felt like she was losing control of her body. She wrapped her arms around his back and clutched him to her. Her hips moved of their own volition, chasing the feeling that was building between her legs. They kept kissing, and before she knew it, a feeling of extreme pleasure crashed over her. Her body went stiff in his arms and she held him like he was her lifeline.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, kissing her forehead.

She laughed. "Yes. Yes, I'm very okay, Mehdi." She grabbed his face and kissed him four times on the lips.

He smiled at her. "Good." He shifted his hips so his erection lay against her sex. His heavy, solid length slid through her wet folds. "I can't tell you how much I want you."

She knew he was holding back for her. "I want you, too. I'm ready."

He pulled his hips back and pushed forward against her, entering her slowly, a tiny bit at a time. She closed her eyes tightly, her forehead furrowed as he pushed farther and farther in, stretching her to accommodate him. She felt like heaven, and he wanted to bury himself inside her and never leave. "Look at me, Zeynep."

She opened her eyes to look into his. She finally felt full, like she was whole. "You're what's been missing," she said under her breath.

"Yes, my love. You and I are each other's destiny. We are meant to be together. You're everything to me," he said. "You're my heart and my soul." He pulled out of her slowly, then eased back in, and her eyes fluttered shut again.

"Mehdi," she whimpered. She wrapped her legs around him and her hips started moving to meet his. He held her to him, his body curled protectively over hers, as he made love to her. He set a slow and steady rhythm, but he was climbing fast. "Mehdi, I won't break," she said, encouraging him to give himself to her completely.

He kissed her lips, then her cheek and he buried his face in her neck. His hips moved faster and faster, and she met every thrust. He groaned into her neck and he reached between their bodies to touch her. He wanted her to come again before he did, and he was so close he knew there wasn't much time. The combined sensations of him inside of her and his hand between her legs pushed her over the edge again. He felt her spasm around him, her walls squeezing him, and his release came, a powerful shudder wracking his body. She held him tightly as he shook in her arms and then he collapsed on top of her, completely spent.

He stayed inside of her, and his head rested on her chest, his ear over her heart. She smoothed his hair back off of his forehead and rubbed his back.

He lifted his head to look at her. "Zeynep?"

She looked down at him. "Hmm?"

"Will you come home with me? Will you be my wife? Not for your mother or my mother, not for Kibrit...but because you love me?"

She knew there was so much still for them to work out, but he was worth it. "Yes, Mehdi. I'll come home with you...I'll be your wife."

He gently tucked her hair behind her ear. "Everything will be good, I promise you." He kissed her. "I promise."

"I trust you, Mehdi...my husband."


End file.
